BEEP BEEP
Hugh’s cell phone beeped . He unlocked his mobile to see 1 MESSAGE RECEIVED emblazoned on the bright screen. He clicked on OPEN.
“Will you help me?” the message pled.
“I am sorry. But, who is this?”
“You don’t know me….”
“What? Then, how do you know me?”
“I don’t know you either.”
“What?! Then why in the world are you messaging me? How do you have my number? ”
“I don’t know. I just typed out any random eleven digits.”
“Are you a mad man? Or lady? Or whatever?”
“I am a nineteen year old male. Do I qualify to be called a man?”
“Yeah! Umm… Weell, technically you are an adult! Wait, why am I wasting my time replying to your stupid messages?”
“I don’t know! You tell me?”
“Are you crazy?”
“Maybe….I think I am. If not, I am definitely turning so! That’s why I need help.”
“So?”
“Can you help me?”
“Hmm, don’t you have any friends, or what?”
“I do.”
“So, go bugger them, you blithering idiot!”
“I don’t want them to know.”
“Know what?”
“That I have reached my weakest point in life, and I can’t handle it.”
“Wait, where are you?”
“On the London Bridge.”
“What are you doing there?”
“Having second thoughts about jumping into the icy water.”
“What! Why?” Hugh could not believe what he read. The situation, into which he had all of a sudden been plunged into, stunned him. Plunge, the very thought of it made him shiver.
“Should I do it?”
“No! Don’t, please!” Hugh typed back furiously, almost punching holes into the keys of his expensive phone. Expensive and classy, the phone reminded him of happier times.
“Why?”
“Why not?”
“I don’t have a reason to live..! ”
“Why? Girlfriend leave you? Aww, come on! That’s no reason! She probably never loved you at all. You can’t suicide because of a girl! Don’t be a sissy!” Hugh sent the condescending reply, replacing ‘Don’t be a sissy’ with ‘Be strong!’. Couldn’t risk hurting a suicidal person.
“I’ve never had a girlfriend.”
“You’ll find her one day.”
“I don’t believe I will.”
“Why do you say that?!”
“I am mute, my right hand is paralytic, left leg is limp and I’ve lived in an orphanage my entire life.”
Hugh read the message with unbelieving eyes, trying to blink back tears. “I am sorry I didn’t ask your name?” He texted back, hoping to buy as much time as possible while trying to think of something to say to him and absorbing the situation at the same time. He felt guilty for being so rude to him a few minutes ago. The bright screen hurt his eyes.
“Liam…Listen I don’t see any point in this…I am sorry to have wasted your time. Another one of my many misgivings.”
“NO NO NO!!! DON”T! I PROMISE I can help you!” Hugh typed as hastily as was possible with his sweaty trembling hands. He had to save Liam. For his own sake.
Ten minutes passed with no reply. Each passing minute, every tick, every tock of the needle of his watch drilled a hole in Hugh’s heart. His quivering legs gave up and he stumbled to sit down against the nearby railing. Five more minutes crept by and there was still no reply. He tried calling Liam, but nobody picked up. Sitting out on the roof top on a cold November London night he pulled his black leather jacket tighter over his body, but felt suffocated, choking on the chilled air. The pollution let off by the heavy London traffic rose to form a fist around his throat. A strong black fist in the black night. Black with disdain, malice, sorrow. A touch of gray hinted of the rare and perpetual presence of hope, Love and satisfaction. Hugh felt terrible, imagining the worst. He had failed. He couldn't even get his thoughts through to a person in a personal interaction. What kind of a writer was he?
As he tried to find enough strength to get up, a sound coming from a paltry little box filled with technology, made of money, made his heart skip a beat. SKIP.
BEEP BEEP
Liam had replied. He was still alive! Hugh felt relieved as the lizard making its way through his windpipe lifted its legs and the black fist loosened its grip. The elephantine moth marching on his heart slowed down. SLOW LEFT. RIGHT. LEFT.
“Please convince me…I want to live and be happy too…But people won’t let me! Give me a reason to live…My disabilities keep pulling me down and I seem to be getting nowhere in life.”
“Bollocks! You’ve lived with them so long and I am sure you can still lead a decent life.” Hugh replied, not fully sure if he believed what he was saying.
“I could if I had money. It was fine until I left the orphanage a year ago after getting a job at a chemical industry in Smith Square. I kept messing up. Spilled chemicals. Couldn’t get work completed on time. On the day I was fired I accidently spilled acid on the boss’s thigh. I was sent to jail for a month. Couldn’t find decent employment for a month after being released. Liived off petty money earned from odd jobs. But I didn’t give up. I never thought of myself as a quitter, but I can’t take this anymore. Life is so unfair. :(”
“Then why this sudden change? Liam, life’s awesome. Give it a chance. It’s always testing you, it’s never fair, but then who is ever fair? That’s the very beauty of life. ” Hugh felt ashamed and small in front of the person he was dealing with. No, life wasn’t fair to Liam.
“Finally, I got a job at a bakery owned by a kind old lady in Notting Hill. She herself lived alone and treated me like her own son. I had found the mother I never had! I was the happiest person in the world!But my happiness only lasted eight short months. I had everything. A job that I loved, and which wasn’t a job at all. A mother who loved me and protected me. The two best colleagues and friends in the world. But all of a sudden it was all taken away from me. In the blink of the eye! My mother died. Run over by a speeding car. Destiny’s cruel hands snatched her away from me. :’(”
Hugh felt sad, angry at the frailty of human life. He experienced a sadness that ate deep into his heart. He couldn’t even imagine this happening to him and his beloved mother. The very thought made him shudder.
“Oh God! I am very sorry for your loss. But be happy for her. She’s surely in a better place…”
“That’s not all. After she died the bakery was taken over by a fast food restaurant chain and I was unemployed yet again. Now who will employ a mute cripple with heavy emotional baggage? Will you?” Hugh thought of his failed publishing business and the two novels written by him that didn’t sell even a hundred copies put together. He imagined nineteen year old Liam, mute and crippled standing on the edge of the London Bridge in this chilly weather waiting to jump into the cruel water. He had to save him. His own life depended on it. “I live in a tiny room in Hackney now; have no family, no life, no job, no talent, and not even an inkling of a future. Why doesn’t God, if he exists, do anything for me? I’ve lived an honest life, but have only suffered endlessly. What reason do I have to live?”
Hugh struggled to find the right words. “God exists and looks after you every second. He cares for you. Believe me Liam, God is more worried about you than you are. But He can’t come down and repair your disability. Maybe what has happened in your life till now was inevitable. He couldn’t help it even though He wanted to. It was because of your Karma. But as you’ve lived a clean life, it’ll improve. God is constantly fighting in Heaven’s court to win the case in your favour. It’ll take time but happiness will find you, believe me. Be open and receptive to it. God always looks out for you, and believe it or not, at any point of time in life you are in the exact position that God wants you to be in. Every passing moment nurtures you for the future. See, if eventually you have to suicide, why do it now? Wait and try out what life has to offer. If you can hit the escape button any time in the future, why leave early? Do what you like, and live like there’s no tomorrow. Tell me do you do what you love doing, regularly?”
“No…”
“Have you ever tried searching for a job that you would love doing?”
“No…”
“Why?”
“They pay less.”
“But they do pay, don’t they? See, you don’t need a high paying job to become successful in life. You can start with a low paying job that you love doing and it’ll transform into a high paying job automatically! Tell me, what do you enjoy doing?”
“Well, I paint well and I love doing it. I also love baking. But these are just hobbies….”
“The most successful people are those who make their hobbies their career.”
“Is it? What do you propose?”
“Well, it’s up to you! First you have to get out of your sulk, and get a job at any bakery. With the money you earn there, you could start making paintings and selling them. It won’t be easy but if you work hard, you can eventually accumulate enough money to open your own bakery or an art gallery! Think of the possibilities!”
“Blimey! You are right! I'll give it a try!” As he sensed the cheerfulness in this message, the moth on Hugh’s heart slowed down further.
“About the happiness part…”
“Yeah?”
“See, even though life’s been unfair to you, it’s not been completely oppressive. You’ve had your share of happiness too! The time at the bakery was a happy one, wasn’t it? Even though it’s over now aren’t you glad it happened?”
“I do..yes!”
“Look around you, life’s beautiful! I am sure if you take a short stroll, you'lll see at least one sight that gives joy to your heart!”
“You are right! I do! More than one! Okay, I will give life a try. You’ve saved my life! Thank you! Thank you….errr?”
“ Hugh Radcliffe. Remember, welcome life with open arms.”
“I will, but I can welcome it with one arm only! "
"Oh...I didn't mean to say that! It was figurative..."
"I know! I was joking. Thanks a ton, Sir!”
“Haha! Bye and have a nice life!”
“I will! Thanks! Good bye!”
Hugh felt a heavy load lift off his heart. The lizard vanished, the moth sank and the fist evaporated. He breathed a sigh of relief. He felt happy and satisfied. All at once, all his troubles seemed insignificant. He had just helped save a life. Two lives actually. He fished out a white plastic bottle from his pocket and emptied the sleeping pills it contained onto the clean London street in front of his apartment building. With a smile on his face, he watched contently as passing cars ground the pills to dust.
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