This Thing Called Magic

This Thing Called Magic....
Magic in life is conjured by the tiny little things. The smell of the earth after it rains, the shifting of seasons, the fulfilling feeling of being part of a family, butterflies in the stomach on seeing that special someone, a vacation away from home, the taste of mom's cooking, hanging out with friends and doing nothing, coffee and snacks at midnight, being so engrossed in a book that any track of time is lost, watching our favourite movie for the millionth time but still laughing and crying like a baby: aren't these the very things that make life beautiful and aren't they simply magical? It is true what they say: God is indeed in the details.


Monday, April 30, 2012

A Lucky Kind Of Sadness


There is so much of misery in the world. Almost every person goes about life being miserable, and putting the blame on the rest of the world. I’m sure if someone were to search the earth, with a searchlight, for a truly happy person, they’d find none. It is sad, but indomitably true and maybe somewhat wise. Come on, you cannot be happy all the time. Life would lose its meaning, and your jaw would start hurting. :P


But, are we all really miserable? Or do we just find reasons to feel sad? I’d have to say the latter. While many-a-times we may actually find ourselves knee deep in sorrow, we mostly just bring it onto ourselves. Most people go around saying how miserable they are and how they don’t have this and that. The truth be known, they do not even know what misery is. Sure, they are sad, but it is only because they think so.

I am a part of the Youth Red Cross club of my college, which focuses on doing social service. Recently, we visited an orphanage. I was pretty psyched about the trip as I was finally getting to do something worthwhile. When we reached the orphanage, I was overwhelmed. I looked at the smiling faces of the innocent little children, and had this really weird, indescribable feeling as I took in the fact that the hundreds of excited children in front of me were bereft of any family. They did not have a father, no mother, no relative, and nobody who loved them with all their heart. They had nobody to wipe their tears when they fell and scratched their knee. They had nobody to bring them chocolates and ice cream at night. They had nobody to hug them tightly and tell them it was all alright, when they felt afraid at night. They had nobody to run to when the class bully troubled them. They had nobody to make them a meal that had love as an ingredient. They had nobody to caress their hair. They had nobody to show them old photos and tell them how naughty they were as kids.  What kind of a world was this? When I look back at my life till now, I see it as a patchwork of these very things. My life has been shaped by the love of my parents, grandparents, my family. They’ve given me my morals and values, and made me the person I am today. Of course, I have my individuality. But, it is they, who have taught me that I even have individuality. They’ve fussed over me when I said my first word, and when I started to walk. What about these children? Who was there to tell these unfortunate fruits of a dead tree, about the huge reserve of sweet nectar that they held inside them? Did anyone care when they said their first words? Did anyone give a damn when they took their first step? What would their first words have been anyway? I can’t imagine. Yet, I see them run around in the sand, barefoot, and scream and laugh and play. What reason do they have, to be happy? Yet, they are. What reason do we have, to be miserable? Yet, we are.


That was just the first part of the day. Next in line, was a visit to a Home for Special Children. The orphanage visit had been a joyful and fulfilling experience, having made the already merry kids’ day even brighter. I was sure that the second place we were going to wasn’t going to be fun. What I hadn’t expected was that it would be such a humdinger. The establishment was small with various varieties of plants and trees lining the façade. There were mango trees, chikoo trees, pretty flower shrubs, and what not. The air was fresh and though we were in the middle of a city, it really didn’t feel so. The interior, however, was in complete contradiction to the lively, bright, and brisk exterior. The moment we entered the building, our nostrils were flooded with the familiar hospital smell- sickly and sanitary. The building had big rooms and narrow passageways lined with windows allowing sufficient sunlight to stream in. In one room a number of chairs lined the walls. They were occupied by the children of the institution, and one look at them made the smile on my lips disappear. The children sat slumped on the chairs, with their flailing postures and blank eyes; the unfortunate heirs of destiny. A couple of caretakers periodically wiped their drooling mouths and fed them. Some kids who were capable of walking, sat on the floor and fiddled with toys that normal kids of their age wouldn’t even had bothered about. But then, it was heard to place them in a fixed age group. Some just sat restlessly on their thrones, willing themselves to get up, and screaming vague words with frustration upon failing yet again. Suddenly, the children at the orphanage seemed very lucky.

We moved around the house, only to see even more heart-wrenching sights. A caretaker sat on the floor with a baby with a cleft lip and no legs, in her lap, and a small kid born without a right hand and legs, beside her. The kid continuously fidgeted for attention; maybe he thought the kind lady was his mother. The little baby cried intermittently. A girl, not very small, sat cross-legged on the bare floor, immobile and staring blankly at the ground. Her eyes were blank. Maybe she was searching for answers. Is there anybody who could provide her the answers she seeks? A small boy, with thin legs, head tilted in an odd direction, sat on a wheelchair and stared at the wall in front of him. An adolescent girl sat in her brightly coloured cot, legs tucked beneath her, trying her best to move but failing to, groaning inaudibly in pain. What had these innocent children done to deserve a fate like this? Weren’t they God’s children too? How could God bear to see His children suffer like this? Philosophers and God men give several answers. Some say, it is to make us realize how lucky we are. I say, to hell with that. There is already enough misery in this world, we don’t need this! Some say, it is in repentance of their past life sins. Maybe it is. But, if it really is, I have a battle to pick with God for this unfair practice of His. Maybe they did some horrible things in their previous life and they have to be punished. So, I ask God, do it in that life itself. Why do it now, when they do not even remember what they are being punished for?  I, myself, would like to think of this as a manufacturing defect. Maybe God makes mistakes too. Maybe He cries every time He sees these poor souls suffering.


What hope do these children have? It is not that their condition can improve. They’ll die one day and they’ll die young. They won’t have lived their life. They won’t have had their share of happiness. What we really need are places where such children, and people, can live happily and where they can lead their lives with dignity. When we can call the misery that belongs to them, ours, why can’t they have our share of happiness?

Ask yourself, do you really have a reason to be sad? If yes, is it really so bad?

Friday, April 27, 2012

The Value Of a Life


What is the value of life, they ask. Would I rather save one life or ten lives, they ask. I don’t know, I say. Do they, I ask.

Today starts out like any other day. I wake up half an hour after the alarm goes off, go to class, sleep halfway through it, and have breakfast. The rest of the day would pretty much have been ordinary too, had it not been for the impending text message on my cell.
‘Blood needed urgently
Anyone willing to donate?’

I sit in quiet consternation at the mucky black granite table of our essentially south Indian canteen, sipping my mixed fruit juice slowly, deliberating over whether or not to go present myself to the noble cause. I find numerous reasons to put off going. For one, I would have to take the trouble of travelling all the way to the hospital where the patient was admitted. Hello, they needed the blood, not me! And then, I would have to miss some of my classes. To top it all, I wasn’t even sure whether I could sit through the whole ordeal. Yes, sigh, I am afraid of needles. I have slight Trypanophobia. Then, I try to find reasons why I should go. I find only one: it is my duty as a human being. It is my duty as a grandson, son, brother, friend, nephew, uncle. That gives me a little push. I look out the window and see a cloudy sky with intermittent splashes of sunlight. This is rare weather for heatwave city, a.k.a. Vellore, and I think, ‘What better day, than today, to travel to CMC?’ I get off the chair and step outside, but still do not call the sender of the message. Then I remember the promise I had made to myself: to never ever say ‘no’ to any “good” opportunity that presented itself to me.  

And so, I find myself standing at the hospital’s main gate. I call up the patient’s father and he tells me to come to the adjacent gate.  For fifteen whole minutes, there is no sign of him. Though the sky is shady, the humidity is high, and my t-shirt gets drenched with sweat in a matter of a few minutes. Vile thoughts bubble in my head as I stand in a dingy corner near the gate. There I was, missing my classes to save his son’s life, and he leaves me standing out in the heat for so long. How long could it possibly take to reach the gate? I wince at the cruelty of my baseless thoughts and brush them away. I was just donating blood, not doing something extraordinary. I take a gander around the hospital campus. At just eleven in the morning, the hospital is brimming with people. North Indians, South Indians, North-East Indians, and even some goras. They are there as far the eye can see, dominating every nook and cranny of the dull campus. I can safely assume that the number of people in the hospital premises at that instant is greater than the actual population of Vellore. They are different people from different walks of life. They have only one thing in common. Sad eyes illuminated by faint rays of hope. All of a sudden, my heart is filled with a twisted kind of sadness.

Just as I am about to find a place to sit down, I see a genial looking man wave at me. He has sad eyes, but a smile on his face. He hugs me as soon as he comes within hugging distance. He thanks me profusely, for coming,  and calls me a ‘great person’. That somehow manages to make me feel very small. His son’s kidneys had haemorrhaged, he tells me as we make our way to the hospital ward where blood donations are taken care of, and they need blood to carry out surgery the next week. As we are about to enter the room, he steps aside and waves his hands over some candles burning in front of a portrait of Jesus Christ, in the fashion a Hindu does when he takes aarti. Hard times have the power to change peoples’ notions of faith. I could never have imagined a devout Hindu from some small town in Jharkand to bow before any God other than his own.

As we sit in the waiting room, he tells me that he has been there for months now. He has spent lakhs of rupees on his son’s treatment, who is just three years my elder. He had been selected for an extremely well-paid job during campus placements. But, oh, the futility of it all. On the day he is supposed to be sitting for his final exams, he would be lying drugged on the operation table. I find myself silently praying that he be able to sit for his exams, only to realize the effort to be in vain. Sometimes, I just can’t understand life. It showers you with happiness for a moment and then takes it all away, leaving you to writhe in the barrenness of a drought, in deep search of pond of happy memories, which can only be but a mirage. When he apologises, over the phone, for not being able to pay certain wages, my heart almost breaks.

This really gets me wondering. What is the value of a life?  Is it less than a hundred or, say, a thousand lives? Is the pain and grief of this father any lesser than the pain of a hundred other such fathers? Are his indomitable efforts at saving his precious child, any lesser, any less valuable? Life presents such a paradox. What would you do? Would you try to save one life or ten lives, if saving one life was more probable? Does that one life hold no value in front of those other ten lives?

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Change

Life can sometimes get weird.  Yes, yes, I know, all my posts contain all these big worldly words and things that you may already know. But, sometimes, you just need someone to remind you, someone to give you that little push. Okay, going off the subject! Ain’t I great, though? :P

Isn’t it sad, or rather ironic, that sometimes people who once spoke day in and day out, end up becoming complete strangers? I mean, what can explain that? Did the people suddenly run out of topics to talk about? Did they exhaust all their wit and knowledge? Did the test tubes of their chemistry explode? Sure, you might say that some people are not meant to be together, that some things are just not meant to be, and that some people just come into our lives to fulfil a purpose and they can’t stay forever. I refuse to believe that that is always the case. That holds true only when things beyond our control happen, that is, when the people become separated by distance or time. Not when their ego or obduracy interferes.

Believe me, but you may already know, when I say that ego is the sole cause of relationships turning sour. It is not lack of communication and definitely not mismatching of personalities. These hurdles can be overcome when there is a willingness to change and understand. If not, the relationship is doomed. Yes, it is.
People say that we should be ourselves and not change for anything or anything. If someone really loves us, they’ll accept us as we are. Well, that is well and good. But, is it really? I mean, isn’t it possible for someone to love us from the bottom of their heart, but not like us? Isn’t it? It is. Believe me. It’s as easy as liking someone but not loving them. Yeah, life is confusing.

Then, if that is the case, why shouldn’t you change for the person who loves you and whom you love back? Why should you expect them to change, rather than you changing yourself? Sure, you shouldn’t lose your originality or change your beliefs and values. But, can’t you change yourself in a way that the person who’d who anything for you, might get a chance to like you a bit more, appreciate you a bit better? Can’t you adjust with their little faults and give in to some of their whims and fancies? Can’t you avoid doing things that raise their blood pressure? Is it really so hard, so immoral? What you have to understand is that the person you love so much, loves you back even more. They just don’t know how to express it. They just don’t know to make you feel special. They just have a different frame of mind. Yes, they may fight with you wildly. But that doesn’t mean they love you any lesser. What it means is that probably they are not as emotionally mature and put-together as you are. So, can you please put your ego aside and adapt to your partner? I would recommend that, because knowing that some people can never change, it is better to change yourself and be happy, rather than to cry alone in bed every night. ;)